Long time, no post..

..And that's kinda because I found out that a lot more people check my blog than I thought. People who weren't quite as interested in reading about my thoughts as much as they were concerned for the welfare of their friends who I hung out with. As a result, I started another, private blog, and kept a few entries in there. Here's a re-post of one of those:

MONDAY, MAY 3, 2010

Shit

Without fail, I have come into the same mindset that I always do when I'm left in the dark about things.

Melissa and I haven't been talking as much lately. I honestly don't know what to make of it. On one hand, I know she's been busy, and that she's been spending countless late nights at the library studying and trying to finish this semester out strong. On the other hand, I just can't help but wonder if she thinks about me at all. Every now and then, she'll start talking to me about how so many guys like her, and all she wants to do is be left alone. Do I fall into that group of guys?

Yesterday, she said to me "ughhh i hate boys[...] and i hate being single"

and all I wanted to do was reply back "Well... You don't have to be."

but I know.. I absolutely know that I shouldn't say something like that. There's a 5% chance that saying something like that will flatter her, and make her think seriously about dating me.. But that means there's a 95% chance that saying it will catch her off guard, make her think twice, and drive her away from me like I've drove away Andrea and Angeli.

So, once again, here I sit.. I have to pretend I'm not scared that she doesn't like me. I mean, I've said it before.. If she just wants to be friends, all she needs to do is let me know. But the last time we talked about it, I asked her not to tell me that if she didn't believe it, and her response was that she did like me, and that she just thought we needed to spend more time together over the summer to be sure. So, because she hasn't explicitly told me she's had a change of heart, I just have to sit for the next two weeks and hope there's something to look forward to when I get home.

I can't help but wonder if I'm going to end up alone after this. Wonder, but not fear. I do not fear that I will be alone because I know that I am taking the right steps. I like Lauren, but I might love Melissa. Letting this opportunity go would be a mistake. And at the same time, I know that if Melissa weren't in the picture, I still wouldn't want to hold a relationship over the summer with Lauren, because I feel like I don't know her enough. We haven't been on a single date outside of fraternity and sorority functions, and I feel responsible for that. I haven't invested enough time or emotion into me and Lauren to be able to confidently say that I think we'd make it over the summer together.

Let's hope this all pans out soon....

Dream - Driving Through

I was trying to get to class, but for whatever reason, I had to drive to class from the house. My backpack was large and bulky, and its contents spilled out of the top and rose higher than my head, making the backpack uncomfortable to wear. I was looking for something important that I needed to bring with me to class, but after awhile I could not find it, so I left without it. I was already late.

I drove over, and the school seemed to be located within a mall, because I drove around a bunch of stores looking for a parking spot. Finally, I parked, and walked up the stairs and to the classroom. Class was nearly over by now. Once it ended, I decided to drive around to another spot that was closer to my next class, except my car was not where I thought I had parked it. I spent over five minutes walking around, looking for my car.. Which was an SUV, not my actual car.

I drove around, but could not find a spot. I finally decided to park in front of the Harley Davidson store/service center, and now I was driving a Harley around instead of the SUV I was in. More than that, the Harley belonged to my sister, who met me out front to get it, because she worked at the service center.

Moniez

Keeping track of my expenses: Cakewalk

Keeping track of my parents' expenses: wtf

Dream - Movie

4/10/10

I had a dream that seemed like I was watching a movie. Specifically, the movie was the sequel to The Game Plan, which doesn't actually exist as a movie. In it, the daughter, Peyton, has Alzheimer's. She keeps asking her father, played by The Rock, to watch a movie... I can't remember what the name of the movie was, but I think it had the word 'November' in it. She asks him to watch it with her at least twice.. probably more.. because she obviously forgets that she's already asked him. Also, this dream is in the first person view with me being in the father's position.

Authority

So many people in my fraternity have this unnatural resistance to any and all authority that can possibly be taken over them. Mostly, these guys are the new members... The freshmen. I wish they would just accept that someone needs to regulate our actions. We are a group of young men who gather together and party during as a form of socializing. Of course we're going to get out of line sometimes. All we're trying to do now is make sure we don't get so far out of line that we jeopardize the safety of others and the reputation of our fraternity as a whole.

I hope these guys start seeing the big picture by at least next year, when they're the upperclassmen and have some of the responsibility of setting standards for the next pledge class.

Dreams

I dreamt that I kissed Melissa last night, while we were sitting in my car. That's all I really remember. There were more details, but they're too fuzzy to draw out. I want to remember more dreams, so I'm making use of the MemoPad on my phone, which I keep next to me when I sleep.

Randoms

I'm thinking about taking an extra semester for school.

USC Cheer is having tryouts on the 25th of this month. As of now, they're an all-female team, but I just found out males are allowed to try out. I really want to try out.

Thinking about this summer makes me smile =)

My answer

5:35

Who do you have a crush on right now?

I've been postponing answering all of my questions because I didn't know how to answer this. I think I do now, so here goes...

I have a crush on a girl named Lauren, but I have an attraction to Melissa that's more than a crush. I can elaborate more on this if anyone really wants to know.

Hit me with your best shot.

Strangers

2010-03-11

5:23am

I went on Chatroulette last night for the first time by myself. At first it was to keep me awake so I could finish a homework assignment, but it ended up being kind of fun. I talked to a bunch of strangers about what they do, what kind of music they listen to, and what I'm doing with my life. It's pretty interesting how technology has enabled us to talk to people we otherwise never would have even seen walking down the street.

Another place full of strangers I recently visited was the DMV. Ah, yes, the place to go when you just can't wait to... wait. First I sat in a line of cars looking for a spot for at least twenty minutes. Then I waited in the line of people, which stretched 40 bodies deep outside the door of the place, just so I could talk to someone initially. She gave me a number, and I proceeded to wait for another hour and a half inside for the number to be called. This was followed by a 90-second interaction between myself and the woman who billed me $18 for a one-trip permit so I can drive my car back to Las Vegas this weekend, and then finally she sent me to the 'inventory pick-up' line, where I waited another ten minutes to physically get the slip.

I'm pretty sure this works differently at the DMV in Las Vegas because I remember license plates and certifications being something you could get when you saw someone after your number was called, but for whatever reason the DMV here in LA found it necessary to create a separate line just for that. Then again, the DMV here is probably ¼ the size as the one in Vegas, and has much more seating for those who are waiting. With the ever-present need for every driving resident to visit the DMV, you'd think they'd continuously open more offices to reduce wait time. You'd think that, but I suppose that would cost everyone more money, which many states can't afford to do right now - especially California.

Spring break next week. I hope the Volvo makes it from here to Vegas and back. Though.. It may not pass smog once I get there, in which case I'll end up leaving it there to get fixed and registered, so I guess I should primarily be hopeful that the car makes it to Vegas, period.

Stay healthy. Be happy.

~Vaniah Schwenoha

Tomorrow

2010-03-04

4:03am

Would you believe me if I told you that when I said "To be continued tomorrow" at the end of my last entry, that I had intended to title my next entry 'tomorrow?' Yeah, me neither, but it was worth a shot. Anyway, let's hit a few points, probably as randomly as we can.

School is so taxing. I want to do well, I really do. It's just that there's always so much to do all at once. I can't concentrate on every subject at once, and because of that, every grade suffers. I honestly think that I'd rather take a five classes separately, which last only 1/5 as long as a semester, than take five classes all at once over the span of the entire semester. The workload just piles up, and I end up missing one class because I need to finish homework in another, and then to make up for the work in the class I missed, I end up neglecting work in yet another class. This cycle repeats itself until finals week, and then I pretty much stare blankly at all of the material I'm supposed to already know and I start learning it a week before I get tested on it. It gets much harder as I progress in courses here, because everything is getting so much more complex.

Kickbacks here in LA aren't the same as kickbacks back home in Vegas. Most of the ones back home are people talking and hanging out, listening to whatever music they feel like listening to on that particular night. Here, people converse, but there's such a different mood to it. At least half the people you're hanging out with here are thinking to some degree about hooking up at the end of the night, and if you can't dance to the music, it's not coming from the stereo. And by 'dance,' I mean 'grind.' I just had a conversation with one of my friends tonight about how he wants a lot more girls to come by for kickbacks. Being a guy, of course I agree that more female company is welcomed, but really... If they come, I want them to come to enjoy our company, not as potential hookups. If a couple guys get lucky, then that's great, but let's make comradery our primary goal of the night.

For anybody who was wondering who I was talking about at the end of my last entry, it was Melissa. There were some other girls I wanted to hang out with, too, but that was mostly because I thought they were cute, and didn't have anything to do with how well (or not) I can hold a conversation with them. Melissa was both - cute and conversational. I told her about it after I came back to LA, and that was basically the end of it, as it usually is between us. One of us always tells the other that we like them, but most of the time neither of us tells the other until after the fact. It's a fun game of tag, I suppose.

That trend was broken just recently, when she and I discussed how we feel about each other. The results of that discussion are still tough to process. She likes me, but isn't ready to move on. Does that mean I should wait? What about this girl in LA who I've been talking to? I like her, too, but aside from a little online conversation last semester, I didn't start talking to her until my fraternity's date dash, which essentially 'nudges' us into being social. Then again, I asked her instead of any of the other 250 girls I know at USC. More than that, I already said it - I like her. She's nice to talk to, she's not superficial, and I enjoy her company when we hang out.

On the other hand, I feel the same about Melissa. I know from the past that I can be just friends with Melissa if nothing happens, but does that hint that I subconsciously want nothing to happen, or am I just okay with settling? If it's the former, then I should just accept that we're friends; but if it's the latter, then how can I let this opportunity pass? What happens if it's the latter and I'm proactive about it? Will the distance concern me? It's as if I'm debating having a friend in Melissa and something more with Lauren, or having a friend and something more with Melissa. Two months ago I wanted to be moving on and involved with someone. Now I feel like I'd be less concerned on my own. Luckily I'm getting pretty good about suppressing my concerns, and just seeing how things play out.

I've been going through some of my old conversations with people lately. They're pretty entertaining to read. Some are funny because the dialog is just quick and witty, and some are funny because I can't believe the garbage my friends and I have said to each other, and how we're still friends after all of it. I should pick some good conversations and send them in emails or Facebook messages to the people I had them with.

I need a new closing signature...

Bitch, moan, repeat

2009-12-23
4:29am

So.. I wasn't aware that anybody really checked up on this thing anymore, since the last lengthy entry I left in it was almost a year ago, but it seems I have at least one avid reader out there, who was gracious enough to leave a comment and provide some insight and perspective to the subjects I discuss with myself.

A year is a lot to cover, so I think I might just fast forward to this past semester. What shall we discuss first? With enough time, I might be able to cover girls, grades, finance, and self discovery. Let's dive in, shall we?

Summer ended pretty mildly. It had been a month or so since my breakup with my last girlfriend, and for the first time in a pretty long while, I wasn't constantly thinking about girls. It was actually a pretty nice mindset I was in, just letting everything flow. Once I moved back to Los Angeles and into my fraternity's new house, we started having small weekly parties on Friday nights. Mostly, I was just interested in having a good time, and beer pong became a bit of a focal point in our back lot. One night, my roommate Geoff had brought his girlfriend Jamie over. I remembered my roommate telling me last spring that his girlfriend had a roommate who was a little lonely, so I asked about her. Jamie told me that she had gotten into a relationship over the summer, so I told her I understood and was ready to brush it off immediately, but after I asked about her, Jamie insisted I meet her anyway. I told her I'd be down to meet her, but just as a new friend, 'cause I don't like the idea of getting in between a couple. Jamie said that was fine, but expressed her lack of faith in her friend when she told me that we could just be friends until she broke up with her boyfriend. Jamie's confidence in this relationship failing was made even more apparent when she pointed out to me that this girl's boyfriend goes to school in Nebraska.

And so this is how I met Ashnoo. She came over, I introduced myself, we had a couple drinks, and then we started to play beer pong together against Geoff and Jamie. Afterward, we decided to play a few rounds of Taboo to pass time, and at the end of the night, Geoff and Jamie rode their bikes back to Jamie's house while I walked Ashnoo home. It was a good night, if nothing else. Over the next couple of weeks, I talked to her a little bit more, but before long, I realized that I was chasing a girl with a boyfriend, and told myself I didn't want to be doing that. We still talk, and I study with her in the library every now and then, but.. I dunno. She texted me today, actually. One of the first things she told me was that she broke up with her boyfriend last night. Not sure what to make of that, so I'll just continue being her friend unless anything changes.

It wasn't long before another girl came unexpectedly into my ever-developing picture of a love life. One night, after a home football game, a few of my friends and I went out and sat on the front porch to go people-watching. This has become one of our favored activities to partake in, particularly when the Shrine Auditorium across the street holds its monthly raves. Anyway, we're outside, watching ravers go by and guessing their ages, when I meet Angeli. Angeli lives on the same floor as Layne in the dorms, and Layne is this girl who has taking a liking to Jonathan, one of my best friends in LA. Both Layne and Angeli are freshmen, and they live on the same floor as a couple of guys who pledged my fraternity, so they're getting to know us pretty well.

I didn't think much of meeting Angeli, especially since one of the pledges was talking to her most of the first night I met her. Then, a few days later, Jon let me know a little in advance that Angeli was going to ask me to go with her to her sorority's semi-formal invite. It was unexpected on my end, but once I knew, I figured I might as well talk to her a little more. I actually made a bit of an ass of myself one night, when my brother was in town and we ended up getting drunk and going back to the dorms with her, where I got a little sick. That didn't seem to matter, though, because the next night we went on our first date. We went to dinner, then to get frozen yogurt for dessert, then back and forth between my house and her dorm, talking the entire time. It was impressive, spending six hours with someone I had just recently met. At the end of the night, I hugged her goodbye and walked home.

The next few weeks went by pretty smoothly. She went with me to one of my fraternity's date dashes, and then the next night I went with her to her sorority's invite, and we started getting into a nice swing of things by watching House together on Monday nights, visiting in person with each other shortly on most other days, and constantly holding instant message conversations with each other on Skype.

One of the things I was happiest with myself about when dating Angeli was that I was open with her about everything. I told her that I have a history of falling too hard too quickly, and I told her that I would try my best to just let things happen naturally between us. She seemed to be okay with it, and nothing I did seemed like it could scare her off... At least, not until she told me she didn't want to date anymore.

Within a few weeks of hanging out with each other, I asked Angeli if she would be my girlfriend, but she politely refused, telling me that she didn't want to be committed to a relationship at the time. I respected it, but also knew that we were practically seeing each other exclusively at that point, so to me, we were simply 'dating.' I was able to say that for around six weeks, while I let things sit on the back burner. I was quite proud of myself, not insisting that anything progress, but instead deciding to let things be for weeks at a time before checking in to see what she thought about 'us.' Then, one day, literally out of nowhere, she told me she didn't think we should be doing what we had been doing anymore. Well, actually it seemed like it was out of nowhere, but realistically it probably had a lot to do with the fact that she was going back home the following weekend, and would be seeing her ex boyfriend.

It's been nearly two months since then, but even for the six-week relationship that seemed to be flourishing so well before that, it's been slightly devastating to me emotionally. I try to tell myself to be happy for her, because she seems to be getting back into things with her ex, who she fell for in the first place, but it's just hard to keep my mind off of what I thought we were heading into. At this point, I would actually be happy to be back in the state of mind I was in when I moved back to Los Angeles, and not be thinking about girls. I'd like that, but it's hard to do when I come home to Vegas - where literally every one of my best friends is in a relationship; where my brother is talking to me about the girl he's hooking up with back home and about the girl he met at a concert the other night, who he went hot tubbing with last night and went to hang out with tonight; and where one of my best female friends is talking to me about the guy she's been hooking up with for the past few weeks. Oh, sweet irony.

So here I am, back in Las Vegas for winter break, and I would be so lucky to have someone to talk comfortably with for these next three weeks. Or maybe even to lie comfortably with. There's someone here who I've started talking to a little more, but I don't think she thinks of me like that. It'd be nice to be with somebody this winter, but if that doesn't happen, then it might actually be better for me.

To be continued tomorrow. It's getting kind of late

Wow

All I can say is that I can't wait for something that nice to happen to me some day.

Chances are I'll still deflect, just to make myself feel better about it, but even I know there's nothing you can do about a love like that. It's unstoppable.

gg

Calling plays

Slow down.

Whatever you're thinking, always re-assess it.

Things can always end well. You just need to let them.

Guilt

2009-01-16

6:06 PM

So, I'm back in Los Angeles for spring semester. It's good to be back, but some differences between here and home get me thinking...

The biggest thing is that I'm alone again, relationship-wise. Cathy and I talked the night before I left, and I told her that I didn't think a long-distance relationship would work out all that well between us. For the most part, that's the truth. After seeing how close Andrea and I got to each other spiritually (might not be the right word to describe it) and how quickly 'we' fell apart and she moved on, I am again a semi skeptic of the long-distance relationship.

Anyway, I told her that, and, after a short silence, she said that she agreed. Except, I could almost tell that she didn't want to say that. It was more of a "if you're happy, I'm happy" kind of agreeance. She seemed okay about it, at the time. But, reading her blog, I see that she feels somewhat betrayed, because it seemed like we might end up in a relationship, but we didn't. I wish she didn't feel that way, because I didn't mean for it to be like that. If I didn't have to be back here, I'd still be with her. It's just that - as I said before - I don't know what to expect from a long distance relationship anymore.

That's it for now...
Vaniah Schwenoha

My New Year's Resolution

2009-01-02

6:00 AM

...Is to settle.

It may not sound like a lot, and it may not be one of those words that you'd normally associate with good, but for me, it will be. You see, I've grown into this person I am today, and I'm starting not to like him.

I used to be all about love. I mean, entirely. I was so content back then, with hope in my eyes and love in my heart. Sex didn't matter to me. What mattered was that the girl I was with could make me happy - that she and I could enjoy each other's company, in any setting. As I reflect on the past year, I can't help but wonder... When did that boy die?

You know, I've been afraid to write about this for the longest time, for fear that the wrong person would read it and I would build a bad reputation for myself. I think it's time, though, that I open up some. I can't help myself unless I confront my imperfections, right?

This summer, I played a lot of people. I'm not sure how it really happened, or what about my immoral self appealed to them, but by the time I had moved back to LA in the fall, I had hooked up with five different girls. Christ, I even lost my virginity to one, not two days after hooking up with another girl.

One was a hookup, plain and simple. We wouldn't have hooked up if she had thought otherwise. The next, unplanned, with someone I had invited to a party as a friend. After her, a 'favor' I was doing for a friend, who had asked me to hook up with his ex so she would stop bothering him. Then, a hookup with an old friend, which seemed to her to be the beginning of a relationship, which I sincerely regret letting her believe.

Finally, the one that got away. The one from those posts just a few months back. Our 'relationship,' if that's what you would call it, was a backwards one. A kiss, just a few days after meeting each other, followed by a few weeks of deep conversations and only hand-holding. Soon, it was less than that, and now, even less. She revived that boy within me, for a moment. Soon, though, he was hidden again, behind a shroud of emotion and a regret for opening his big mouth. I was desperate. All I wanted to do was find a way to forget her, to keep my mind off her. Suddenly, I was downstream again... Fell back into that summer mentality. Too hurt by my desire for love, I regressed into a lackluster desire for lust. Once again, I blinded myself into thinking it was okay to flirt with multiple girls all at once.

My resolution is to find that boy again, and not lose him this time. No more random hookups. No more "keeping my options open." No more games.

I want to love again. Help me, please.

Happy New Year,
Vaniah Juniper Schwenoha

Hello there!

2008-12-16

12:32 AM

Okay, so.... I'm back. Sorry for the series of super depressing entries. I just had a run-in with some old habits and emotions. You see, I have this really bad quality about me, and it's that when I get to like someone, I fall for them pretty hard. Sure, I guess you can say a lot of people do that, but the thing is that I'm always stupid enough to express it fully, and that's what scares people. I've watched myself do it a few times, and every time, I tell myself I've learned not to do it, and I tell myself that I've learned more about what doesn't work... But I always find myself back in the same position. It's my downfall, I suppose. However, I am trying to work on it. I guess the best I can do for now is to say that, and to remind myself of it whenever I need to think before speaking... Or acting...

Anywayy... The semester is ending, and I can't believe it's already been this long. I mean, really... I've only written three times this semester. Why can't I find time to write in here anymore?

Regardless of the whole ordeal with Andrea, it's been a spectacular semester! The fraternity has progressed.. We've gained more intelligent, respectable men, who have learned from us, and who have taught us as well. I've bonded more with my friends from last year, especially living with some and coordinating events with others. And most importantly, I've managed fair grades this semester, which is all my mom ever asks of me, so I'm glad to have done that =)

Well, like I said.. The semester is ending, but it's not quite over yet. Maybe I should get back to studying for my last exam, which starts at 8:00am =x

See you soon ;-D
Vaniah Schwenoha

*sigh*

2008-11-08

2:48 PM

*Note: This was actually written on October 6th. Figured I might as well just publish it for any of you who actually read this.

I thought I knew her... Turns out I just knew a lot about her. Not enough, though.

Feelings, emotions, connections erased, it seems... just as quickly as they were written.

She did warn me, I'll give her that.

That's why I don't want to be angry at her.

I'm more angry at myself, really.

Said too much... Pushed too much... Trusted too much.

Fuck the distance, for sure...

'til next time, I suppose... Next time I meet an incredible girl.. Next time I just 'click' with someone..

And as for her... Maybe we'll have a next time. I can't expect it soon, though. She's too scared, and deservedly so. I crossed a line. I crossed it far too soon and without enough warning. And just like that, things turned around 180º. One night, we're talking, joking, laughing, holding hands.. The next, she's reluctant to see me, to call me, to talk to me. Funny, how that works. Somehow, I took a mutual attraction between her and I, and by simply addressing that attraction, I derailed the entire thing.

"That would be fucked up of me, if you just told me that and I said I didn't want to talk to you anymore."

Well, good thing you didn't say it, right?

Back to an old closing...

Actions speak louder than words...

Vaniah Juniper Schwenoha

P.S. ~ If you read this, Andrea, please forgive me. I forgive you. I just... wish you would talk to me, that's all...

Because I can't directly say it to you, for fear you may push me away...

1 October 2008

1:53 AM

I can give you space...
I can give you time...
Just don't ask me to give you up...

Emotion

16 September 2008

11:45 PM

It would be tough to describe my emotional state right now. I'm experiencing so much, all at once. Happiness... Grief... Stress... Relief... Love...

Assuming I actually take the time to write out everything running through my mind right now, this entry may touch upon all of those, so please, bear with me.

Last time I wrote was at the end of spring break.. Oh man.. How things have changed since then...

Mmm... Summer was great. I got some work done by taking Calc III during second session. Because my summer school session was the same as Niki's, and because our classes were at the same time, He and I started going to the gym regularly, and I actually started to build muscle, which never really happened when I used to go to the gym a few years ago. I hung out with my friends quite a bit, which was great. I missed spending time with them =)

At the end of July, I was at a friend's house partying and I met a girl. Sounds typical enough, right? Surprisingly though, even to me, this was a unique experience. She walked in with a couple of her friends, and I was on the other side of the house when she did. I immediately noticed her, but did not immediately take any action. Throughout the night, I would introduce myself to her, ask her to do me a small favor or two (like handing me a couple beers from the fridge), and tease her. Then, something happened. I'm not sure how, but we started talking - first about small stuff, as most people do at parties. But then our conversation got much deeper. We talked about life goals and our pasts and our passions. We talked for about an hour or an hour and a half. The conversation went on endlessly, and from that point on, I was hooked. Never had I connected with anyone in such a way. It was amazing. At the end of the night, we said goodbye, and I asked for her phone number, and once I got home the next day, I found her on MySpace.

Once I started talking to her on MySpace, on AIM after, and eventually over the phone (which I love doing, btw), I started wondering when the time would come when we would run out of things to talk about and things would get awkward between us. But then, an entire week went by, then two... And now it's been over a month and a half, and conversation is as pleasant as ever =)
I mean, yeah, there are points where we're silent on the phone, but it's never been awkward. It's comforting, actually, to just sit silently, knowing she's on the other end of the line...
=D
Mm... Because of the short amount of time we had to spend with each other before I left (and some other minor factors) we decided when I moved that we should remain friends for now. I still talk to her every day, though. It makes me really happy =)

Moving off of that.. I'm back in Los Angeles now, and school has started. We're already in the fourth week, which is awesome because things are going so fast, and vacation will be here in no time =)
I'm only taking four classes this semester since I took Calculus over the summer, which takes a load off of me. The workload is starting to get heavier this week, though, which sucks. Oh well. I'll manage with it. Fraternity things are going well this semester, and I'm excited about that. Can't give out many details, but I just wanted to mention it, heh.

I found out that Chris Conzen died today. It was really shocking to hear about. The more I think about it, the more I realize he affected so many people, including me. When I think back, I can honestly say that he was a major influence in terms of where I am today. He taught me a ton about computers. He was there the first time I took one apart, and explained how to properly put it back together. He got me more interested into my entire field of study. That's crazy...

*sigh* ... I really wanted to write more in here, about everything, but I can't take the time tonight to do it. Umm... If I don't write again soon, feel free to leave a comment and let me know what you'd like me to write more about.

Rest in peace, Conzen.
Vaniah Schwenoha