It was clear that I was asking too much from her, as a friend, to strike up conversations with me when I wasn't doing the same with her. I understood that. Once we established that, I made a conscious effort to say hi about 20% as much as I thought about saying it. So, most of the times I thought about sending a text saying "Hey! What's up?", I instead put my phone back in my pocket and busied myself with something else.
I asked to videochat on Skype one day, and she told me she was busy. I said 'okay,' and told her I'd talk to her some other time. Three days later, I asked to do the same thing, and when she said she was going to bed instead, I jokingly said "Boo! Fine. 'night." She then replied, "What is wrong with you?"
I didn't know that anything was wrong with me.
I was just asking to catch up a little bit with a friend. Her lack of response for the next two days clearly indicated that I don't have the greatest approach to such a request.
It's so much more hurtful when someone blows up in your face about how they feel. They could have easily let you know from the start how they felt, and avoided more conflict, but instead, they just let you pick and scratch and eat away at their patience, assuming you can read their mind, and that you know that they don't want you to bother them.
I don't know why you're so mad at me, Natalia, but I surely hope that you aren't this mad forever. For the brief time we spent hanging out together over the summer, you were a good friend to me. All I really wanted was to provide that friendship and support, even while I was away for school. I doubt you'll ever see it the way I did, but if you ever wonder why, I guess I have to suggest reading the entry before this.
~Vaniah Schwenoha
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