Invisible

I'm not saying I don't enjoy the single life, but it does kill me when I make a conscious effort to interact with someone and they don't seem to even notice me. Thing is.. I was talking with someone before I moved back to LA, and things were going really well; we would text and talk to each other just about every day, and conversation was never one-sided. All of a sudden, I'm back in California, and every time I text her, she responds with two-word answers, as if to simply be responding because she thinks she needs to. What happened to you saying hi first every now and then, or even to the emoticons and space-filling 'haha's and 'lol's when we talked about anything even remotely amusing? I really am sorry I couldn't stay in Las Vegas to see how things panned out, but I hope you know I won't be gone forever, and when I visit during my upcoming vacations, I really would like to hang out with you.

Anyone close to me might be able to guess who I'm talking about right now, but in case not and in the case that you know this girl, I do just want to reflect on something I came across in the facebook news feed.

"thats something im def. doing right now. just going with flow. cuz i know the right person will go out of their way to me what ive been looking for. I dont want to waste my time assuming that whoever im talking to will do just that cuz it never happens. it will just happen i guess :) things are better when it happens unexpectedly anyway"

All I can think of when I see that is "How far is 'out of their way'?" Does 35 miles to the beach and a day spent with you in California count? If not, then perhaps trying to keep in touch with you from a city away, knowing I won't see you in person for the next three months, if not longer. It's selfish babble on my part, I know, especially when I ask you why we don't talk as much as we did before and all you say to me is "There's really not much to say."

...But I still can't help but wonder what could have been. So, here I stand - once again turning away from hope. School and timing and life have separated me from you, and in lieu of that, I am fully prepared and able to smile at the sky and look toward the next hopeful situation I encounter - be it with an individual, an opportunity, or a fortunate turn of events.

And for those of you reading along, I would love for you to be with me when I encounter my new happinesses.

~Vaniah Schwenoha