Guilt

2009-01-16

6:06 PM

So, I'm back in Los Angeles for spring semester. It's good to be back, but some differences between here and home get me thinking...

The biggest thing is that I'm alone again, relationship-wise. Cathy and I talked the night before I left, and I told her that I didn't think a long-distance relationship would work out all that well between us. For the most part, that's the truth. After seeing how close Andrea and I got to each other spiritually (might not be the right word to describe it) and how quickly 'we' fell apart and she moved on, I am again a semi skeptic of the long-distance relationship.

Anyway, I told her that, and, after a short silence, she said that she agreed. Except, I could almost tell that she didn't want to say that. It was more of a "if you're happy, I'm happy" kind of agreeance. She seemed okay about it, at the time. But, reading her blog, I see that she feels somewhat betrayed, because it seemed like we might end up in a relationship, but we didn't. I wish she didn't feel that way, because I didn't mean for it to be like that. If I didn't have to be back here, I'd still be with her. It's just that - as I said before - I don't know what to expect from a long distance relationship anymore.

That's it for now...
Vaniah Schwenoha