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18 February 2008

1:47 AM

Every once in awhile, I feel like writing about something important to me, but then I think that I need to catch my blog up on the past month or two before I can actually write about what I want to write about. Having thought about it just now, I realize that I should be writing what I feel when I feel it, regardless of having to 'catch up' on the other shit and trying to write about what I don't necessarily want to write about. So I've decided not to obligate myself to write about that stuff. If at some point I have some extra time and want to write about it, then I will, but other than that, you can just ask me about the two months missing from this blog. Let's do a brief summary just to give you an idea of what you might want to ask about if you're interested...

Winter break was awesome! It was great to be back home for those three weeks.

I rushed and am currently pledging for Sigma Alpha Mu fraternity.

Classes have been going great so far this semester.

My social life is fucking thriving right now. I love it.

Alright. That sounds like enough. Moving on... The rest of this entry might seem kinda random. I might talk about a variety of things. Some may be depressing, some may be uplifting. Just depends on how much I feel like writing, I guess. Here goes...

Michael Mausbach died shortly after the new year. It's sad to think about, really. I mean, it hasn't been more than nine months since my graduating class walked out of the Orleans Arena, heads held high, smiles on every face. Less than nine months and two of those smiling, hopeful faces lie in the ground. It's sad. It's really sad. And a friend in one of my classes had a friend who was shot and killed in the recent NIU shooting. It's a fucked up world, I'll tell ya...

I was driven to write tonight while MySpacing, actually. I was looking at Brittney Rufkahr's pictures and came across one of her and her mom. I think I remember hearing about the first time her mom was diagnosed with cancer. I heard about it when I was a junior. In a way, it has and hasn't been all that long since then. Looking at pictures of her, though, you'd think she'd been to Hell and back over the years, and you'd think she's been fighting her battle for an eternity. It just makes me think about how much I don't know about life. And this goes both ways. I don't know how much beauty there is in the world. I don't know what I've missed out on seeing by having lived in Las Vegas through the first eighteen years of my life. But I also don't know pain. Real pain. It's not something I would wish upon myself or any other individual, but really, can you imagine the kind of pain a cancer victim has to go through? How can you possibly know without being a victim yourself? How can you know the pain that comes with a heart attack, a severed limb, a collapsed lung? They're things some of us in the world will experience, though some of us never will. Some of us will never know. Is it too awkward to say I want to know? I suppose it is.

Don't like, call the cops or get me admitted to a psychiatric institution or anything after reading this. I'm not suicidal or anything, haha.

Alright, now that I've weirded everybody out to the extreme... let's touch upon the other extreme...

Pleasure. Such a mysterious feeling, isn't it? In different context, it can mean different things. There's the pleasure of just hanging out with your friends. There's the pleasure of good conversation and time spent with an individual. There's the pleasure of a woman's touch. All call upon the same word to describe the feeling they summon, but all can be described differently. It may not be as intriguing to you guys as it is to me, but I just kinda felt like writing about it.

I'm out of things to write about... For now. I guess I'll see you guys later. Don't be strangers, now. Feel free to call/text/IM me whenever just to talk.

Have fun out there, fellas.
Vaniah Schwenoha